Insanity rules
8 May 2009
Well enough of the pretence now - I'm going to tell you what's really going on on Pura Vida. We've given a pretty good impression that we're having a whale of a time - laughing, singing, and a bit of rowing obviously. But the truth will out....
It all started a couple of days ago. Jo, our novice, has been a little delirious. She keeps thinking she has seen land. After a bit of ranting about her 5m swimming medal, she burst out of the cabin and launched herself overboard much to our horror. The horror was not that she had gone over but she had the bucket caught around her left ankle and we were left without a toilet. Her last words heard were "must swim to the island, must swim to the island". Fortunately we were able to lassoo her with the rescue line and haul her back on board where she was pinned down and strapped into a straight jacket made out of 2 triangular bandages (thanks Yvonne) and has been securely locked in the bow cabin ever since. The mumbling and rocking continues.
Sarah has lost all interest in rowing. Instead she lines up her jelly babies, casting aside all those she thinks are female. Occasional shouts of "bad jelly. you will have to be punished" can be heard, and should anyone else go near one then there's an almost feral reaction accompanied by a growl of "my men. Stay away from my men".
Elin meanwhile has become convinced she is the Welsh dragon, "Dai". She emerges from the cabin swaying her head from side to side and making large circular motions with her arms. She will only eat lamb (which she thinks she has caught)and insists on it being served in the green bucket. After feeding she becomes quite docile and rambles incessantly in some foreign tongue - Welsh we presume.
Fiona remains relatively normal in comparison. She merely sits on the rowing seat in her fisherman’s hat chattering with the monkey on the gunwale, and contemplating life's bigger questions - if you were a wave, would you be a small wave or a big wave? Chimpanzees or baboons? Aren't we lucky we're not fish on a bad day.... Occasional outbursts of "I laugh in the face of waves. mwah ha ha ha ha" can also be heard.
So that's what's really going on here. Business as usual. No angel has been harmed in the writing of this blog. Back to Happy Valley.
